5 ways to celebrate St. Paddy’s, even if you can’t drink

Graphic by Bryan Perez

St. Patrick’s Day is a holiday for everyone to reveal the true Irish in themselves, or at least what they think is Irish. Bars will ruin perfectly good beer by turning it green and lightweights will drink pee water and call it a day well spent.

Like it or not, it’s time for the glorious celebrations, hilarious inebriations and an UBER driver’s most profiting day since New Year’s. Although it’s a holiday commonly used as an excuse to drink until the bottle is empty, not everyone wants to, or can, drink. So here are a few activities that can be done sober, or not, on the big day.

— Compiled by Niels Winter

Check out the Parade

This is one of the most obvious ways to celebrate a day named after a figure in history:

Throw a parade.

This event will feature more than 90 floats, 1,700 participants, and 125,000 attendees. It will kick off on Greenville Avenue at Blackwell Street at 11 a.m. and will end on Yale/SMU Boulevard at Central Expressway.

Drive your drunk friends

For the do-gooders of the world, being a designated driver is as glamorous as it sounds.

The only things that you need are a car, a group of friends to which you say, “Hey, I’ll drive,” and the ability to deal with the drunken fools that are your friends.

Now in all seriousness, this is a very important job that needs to be filled by very responsible people. Not only does it allow your friends to drink as many light beers as they want, but it has the potential to save lives.

Get cultured

Learning can be a fun part of any holiday. Take the time to look up how the holiday came to be, what changes it went through to become what we know it as today, and how it is celebrated elsewhere. For instance, the pubs in Ireland used to close on St. Patrick’s Day by law.

You can immerse yourself in the culture behind St. Patrick’s Day and go to a traditional St. Patrick’s Day mass at the St. Patrick’s Catholic Church in Dallas.

There will be a brisket, corned beef and cabbage lunch after the mass.

It will take place at 10 a.m. at 9643 Ferndale Road, Dallas. Be sure to wear something green.

Fight anevil leprechaun

This one is for those who are looking for a little bit more fright out of their holiday. Saint Patrick’s Slay is a haunted house with leprechauns and witches, and you’re caught right in the middle of it all.

Not suggested for those who are sticklers for accuracy or those who get queasy easily. It’s located at 701 Taylor Dr., Plano and will be open March 16 and 17.

Go green in Cowtown

This isn’t what you think it is at first. No, they will not be hosting a party to paint the poor cows green, nor will they paint the historical buildings.

What they will have are all kinds of interesting kid’s activities and food. There will also be a parade after 4 p.m. It will be at Fort Worth Stockyards National Historic District from noon to 8 p.m. March 17.

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